Eight more weeks of the nearly 4 year endeavor that is Chinese Medicine school. (Well, phase 1 will be done. A phase may finish, but it never ends).
Last night I had a visual of collapsing when Sept 26th comes around. After running around non-stop for 3.5 years it's clear the legs are ready to give-out. Memorizing, learning, reading, writing, regurgitating, asking, practicing, buying. This is an unimaginable expenditure of time, energy and resources..
When all of the tasks are complete and the checklists turned in, I wonder howl I will spend my time? What will I do on Sundays if I'm not studying? I feel like a bow and arrow drawn. Ready to shoot and the arrow ready to fly. I keep thinking about a man I once met who spend years in prison. He told me that true freedom can only be found in the heart. TCM school is no prison, but when faced with a daunting list of tasks and hoops finding a freedom sourced from within is the only option. Not only has freedom been found, but energy, voice, zest, humility. I see now that in exhaustion the inverse can be found. Yes, I imagine collapsing. The end of the marathon leg wobbles can take anyone down. Yet, even with all of the energy and resources expended I've never felt more alive, never more rich.
So what will I be doing with my time in 8 weeks? Not watching Netflix (well, after I finish Queer Eye). Life is too short for TV. My first stop will be the slick rock of Utah, followed by diving into the ocean. Life wants to be lived and I CAN NOT WAIT to put the books down (for a couple months at least) and live it. To look people in the eye. To stretch my legs. To stretch my normal routine. If there's one think I hope to have learned it's to not take life for granted.