Sometimes it seems the only thing holding us back from everything we ever hoped for is "work." Often, we don't even know how much work something will take, but the idea alone is enough for us to turn away. Maybe it's even our beliefs about work that will make the decision. Beliefs like, "Shouldn't it be easy?" I don't know the answer to that question, but I know I'm wired for work. At least, inner work, and in my more recent years I've grown accustomed to physical work through daunting amounts of education. It has me thinking though, sure we don't know how much work will be asked of us, sure we can't see the outcome and there are no guarantees, but I still believe the tasks at hand are still worth it. Hopelessly believing the pay-offs of honesty, work, showing-up, labors of love, authenticity, creative-thinking will be exponential to the pay-off of walking away.
In the midst of learning about strong inner-work ethic I am also learning about boundaries. It's a razor's edge to walk between showing-up to the task at hand honestly, open-heartedly, curiously. Error too much to one side and the heart closes off. The work of creating more Love and connection in the world can't happen with a armored heart. Might as well just walk away. Error too much to the other side and the boundary is too loose. True growth can't happen without bones to hold it up. This is when one can be walked-on. There must be a balance point between rigid and flimsy. Between walking away from the work and over-work. A balance between effort and bestowment. Maybe this just it is "the work" to watch curiously and attentively the process. Life is too short to walk away and ignore, and life is too delicate to smother.
I have been learning through this process of Chinese Medicine education, through growing as an individual in self-awareness as well, that what is required takes showing-up each day, and when space is needed to stop and take a breath. There will always be more work to do, but the fear of this work can't be more than the faith that showing-up no matter what happens, showing-up clear and grounded, that the pay-off will be felt in the heart of the matter.